free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

Tim the Chicken

Tim was a nervous chicken.

He rarely went out in public and spent the majority of his life trying to blend in to the background.

And this devotion to anonymity followed Tim through his entire childhood and adolescence.

As Tim approached his eighteenth birthday, his one friend, a sheep named Bob, was adamant Tim needed to celebrate this milestone.

It took much convincing, but eventually Tim agreed to make his first visit to a pub and experience his first taste of alcohol.

The pub of choice was the Crown and Anchor. As Tim nervously approached the bar he bumped into a large beast of a man named Greg knocking Greg’s pint clean out of his hand and on to the floor.

Greg was furious. The bar went quiet. Greg had a reputation, the kind of reputation you don’t mess with.

“What the feck are you doing wee man!!!!” bellowed Greg. “I’m gonna turn you in to a chicken Kiev!”

Tim, terrified, whimpered away.

Greg, bearing down on Tim, suddenly caught the look of fear and weakness in the limp chickens eyes. Greg stopped.

The pub was shocked because things don’t normally end well when Greg was wronged. But this time Greg took pity.

“Now listen ‘ere you scrawny little chicken! I’m gonna give you one chance. Sort me out another pint right away!”

Tim quickly sorted the drink and handed it, very carefully, to Greg.

“Now if I ever see you again wee man, you better turn and walk the other way or I’ll be have a chicken chow mien for dinner!!! Now leave!!!!!”

And with that, Tim made a hasty exit.

It took a good few months for Tim to leave the house again. Eventually he mustered up the courage to make his way to Bob’s house to collect his belongings. Belongings he had forgotten when he left the pub in such a rush.

Walking down the street Tim turned a corner. A look of horror came across his face. Walking towards him was Greg!

So Tim, the chicken, crossed the road.

2 responses to “Tim the Chicken”

  1. cortex04 Avatar

    not bad Kowalski, not bad. ?

  2. Flemeron Avatar

    Chicken lore

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