I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.
The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.
A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks “Do you sell condoms for extremely large penises?”
“Yes we do,” said the pharmacist. “Do you need to buy some?” “No,” she replied, “but if you don’t mind I’m just going to wait here.”
Today a woman knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave her a glass of water. I love supporting the comminity.
A man is walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty bucks,” she says…
He’s never been with a prostitute before, so excitedly he says, what the hell They are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them—it’s a policeman. “What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer. “I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry,” […]
I saw a woman waving at me yesterday, but I wasn’t too sure.
Anyways, onto more tragic news, I lost my job as a lifeguard.
A naked woman robbed a bank in broad daylight
She wasn’t caught, cause no one from the bank remembers her face.
A woman to her friend: “How did you meet your husband?”
“I was working at a pharmacy, he came in and asked for condoms, XXXXL size” “Wow, he must be well endowed.” “No, he has a stutter.”
Why did the woman ask the man so many math questions?
Because men are born with the y, and you’ll never find x without it.
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside…
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks. God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.” With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets […]
A woman told me she didn’t smoke or drink through her entire pregnancy.
Said it was the worst four days of her life.