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just open your fucking mouth ;p

Tag: Putin

  • Vladimir Putin is speaking with his advisors…

    “I think when the war is over Russia should become a Kingdom”. “Sir,” one of his advisors speaks out, “only a King may lead a Kingdom.” “Very well, Russia shall become an Empire” Putin replies. Again his advisor speaks out, “only an Emperor can rule over an Empire.” Putin, beginning to lose patience glares at […]

  • Putin Joe Biden and Zelensky on a hot air balloon

    The hot air balloon is starting to lose altitude fast. Putin tosses out a bottle of vodka and says “I have too much of that in my country anyway!” Joe Biden tosses out an AR 15 style fully automated assault type rifle and says “I have too much of that in my country anyway” Zelenskyy […]

  • Vladimir Putin consulted with a fortune teller and asked: How long will I live?

    The psychic replied: I cannot tell that but I do know you will die on a Ukrainian holiday. Which holiday? Putin asked. The psychic smiled and said. Whichever day you die will be a Ukrainian holiday

  • [OC] Vladimir Putin goes to a bar

    He walks up to the bartender and asks for two shots. The bartender says “sure thing” and starts rummaging behind the counter. After a short while, Vladimir gets impatient and leans over the bar where he sees the bartender trying to input the code to a safe. “What the hell is going on?” says Putin. […]

  • Putin is being driven down the street in his limo

    And he sees a family on the side of the road eating grass. He tells his driver to pull over and he gets out of the limo and approaches the husband. “What are you doing? Why is your family eating grass?”he asks. “Oh, Mr President,” the man says “Since the war in Ukraine began I’ve […]

  • Putin walks into a bar

    and shouts: a round for everyone, on the house

  • When it comes to Putin you have to hand it him…

    Or he will send people to take it.

  • Can you guess the similarity between Putin and an Intestine?

    They are full of twist and turns but ultimately ends up being Assholes.

  • Putin visits a school

    For a morale boost and publicity stunt, Putin visits a Moscow elementary school He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful country admired around the world. At the end of the talk, there is some time for questions. Little Sasha puts her hand up and says, “I have a question: why did we […]

  • For a morale boost and publicity stunt, Putin visits a Moscow elementary school

    He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful country admired around the world. At the end of the talk, there is some time for questions. Little Sasha puts her hand up and says “I have a question: why did we invade Crimea and Ukraine?” Putin says “Good questions…” But just as he is […]