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Porn is like fast food
Beforehand-Looks appetizing, quick, and affordable. Afterwards-You feel ashamed and disgusted with yourself. …and you have mayonnaise stuck on your hands.
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I work as a porn fluffer …
It’s kind of like a regular job – nothing but dicks and assholes all day long but it’s a great fucking business to be in.
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My wife walked in on me while I was watching porn.
In a panic reflex I instantly changed to a random channel, the fishing channel. As my wife walks out again she says: “you should stay on the porn channel… you know how to fish.”
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A man walks into a hotel lobby with his family and whispers to the front desk clerk, “make sure the porn in my room is disabled”. To which the clerk replies:
We only have regular porn you sick fuck!