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Tag: Johnny

  • So little Johnny grew up and became a psychiatrist.

    He was having a session with these three women and their children. He said by talking with them for 30 minutes, he’d be able to diagnose them and be able to fix them. After the 30 minutes he says: alright, i know what’s wrong with you three, you’re all very compulsive. He says to the […]

  • 11-year old Johnny had a teacher who was very pretty and nice…

    And he had a developed a big crush on her. One day the teacher asked, “Johnny, why are you doing so poorly in you schoolwork lately?” “Because I’m in love.” Johnny said, dreamily. “Who are you in love with?” Teacher asked while she tried hard to hold back a smile. “It’s you.” Johnny told her. […]

  • Lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to her husband Johnny:

    “I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”  Johnny replies. “That’s no big thing in this day and age.”  The wife continues. “Yeah, I’ve been with one other guy.”  “Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”  “Tiger Woods.”  “Tiger Woods, the golfer?”  “Yeah.”  “Well he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you […]

  • Johnny wanted to have sex !!!

    Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else… One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, “I’ll give you a £100 if you let me screw you, But the girl said NO. Johnny said, “I’ll be fast. I’ll throw the […]

  • little johnny finally got to the third date….

    and knowing the reputation of the girl he was seeing, knew that he would “get lucky” on this one… so off to the drug store he goes to get a condom. “i got a hot date tonight and i need a condom!” he tells the employee there, who hands it over almost immediately… “that’ll be […]

  • Little Johnny was sitting in Sunday school on Easter

    The Sunday school teacher said “Today is all about the resurrection, does anyone know what that is?” Little Johnny raises his hand…. “I do! And if it lasts more than 4 hours you’re supposed to call a doctor!”

  • Little Johnny is sitting in class on Monday morning, and the teacher is asking what the children were doing over the weekend.

    When it is his turn, the teacher asks Little Johnny, “What did you get up to this weekend Johnny?” Little Johnny replies, “Well sir, I was putting fire crackers up toads arses!” The teacher admonishes Little Johnny, “Rectum is the correct term, son.” Little Johnny replies, “Rectum? It fuckin killed ’em!”

  • Little Johnny.

    Teacher talking to little Johnny, I think your grammar is terrible. Johnny replies. Well I think your Grandpa is a cunt.

  • Little Johnny wants a BMX bike, so he gets down on his knees and writes a letter to God….

    It says ‘Dear God. If I’m good for one month will you get me a BMX bike?’ He carefully folds the letter and leaves it at the end of the bed. He lies down under the covers and thinks for a moment. One month is too long to be good. He gets up and tears […]

  • Say what you will about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp….

    …but she was the only one who gave a shit in that relationship.