For my birthday, my wife said she wanted to give me a sexy special treat…
…and she asked me which of her friends I’d like to have a threesome with. Apparently, I was only supposed to give one name and now I’m spending my birthday in the ER with a broken arm and a black eye.
Why did the farmer give the apple to the cow and not the horse?
>!He asked the hourse first, if he wanted the apple, but the horse said “Neigh”!<
Robert Kennedy Junior is running to become US President, and I think Americans should give him a shot.
And a couple of boosters, just to be sure.
I offered my elderly neighbour 20 bucks to give me a ride on her stair lift.
I think she’s gonna take me up on it..
One day, Albert Einstein has to give a speech at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him: “I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!” The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don’t know anything about science, I could give the […]
It is never acceptable to give a child a firearm.
They are better suited to crew weapons, such as the machine gun or mortar. This activity builds teamwork and cooperation.
Dick and Sally have been married for a long time and things have slowed down in the bedroom. Dick is complaining to Sally about the lack of sex. He asks “Would it kill you to give me a blowjob once in a while?”
Sally replies, “Dick, that’s not fair, you know I have a nut allergy!”
God created childbirth to give women the chance to experience what it’s like…
For a guy to catch a cold….
I give out Viagra to the kids on Halloween
It’s hard candy
A guy in an alley stuck a gun in my ribs and said, “Give me all your money!”
I thought, “I’ve got to hand it to him.”