A guy walks into a bar with 10 bucks. He looks at the bartender and asks, “What can I get?”
“You can get those deer outta my damn bar!”
Doctor Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm! “What are you taking for it?”, asks the doctor.
“Black pepper” I replied.
Linda and Martha are talking. “Have you heard of the Bechdel Test?” asks Linda.
“Yes,” answers Martha. “My boyfriend told me about it.”
What do you do when your wife asks for some space?
construction work in the kitchen
Andrew Jackson walks into a bar, the bartender asks “why the long face.”
Andrew Jackson clearly pissed off at the remark sent the bartender to Oklahoma.
A child asks his dad, “Daddy, what are taxes?”
“I will explain at dinner.” When it is time for dinner, the child excitedly reminds his dad “Can you explain what taxes are now!” The dad smiles, and takes a slice of their meatloaf, a scoop of their mash potatoes, and a big gulp of their grape juice! The child, confused, says “Why’d you do […]
Dick and Sally have been married for a long time and things have slowed down in the bedroom. Dick is complaining to Sally about the lack of sex. He asks “Would it kill you to give me a blowjob once in a while?”
Sally replies, “Dick, that’s not fair, you know I have a nut allergy!”
A young boy asks an old man how he got to be so old
The old man tells the boy “Oh it’s an old cowboy trick! Every morning I put a spoonful of gunpowder on my oatmeal!” So the young boy starts doing it and sure enough he lived to the ripe old age of 106. He left behind 3 children, 8 grandchildren, 4 great-grandchildren and a 30 foot […]
Sitting on a cloud in Heaven, Einstein tries to explain Hitler relativity theory. When finished, Einstein asks Hitler “Did you get me?”
Hitler responds, “No, you died of old age.”