… a rat happened past and started laying into him: “We live in such a beautiful forest; you are such a majestic and beautiful creature, why the hell are you killing yourself like this. Come with me and I’ll show you sights to live for!”

Intrigued the tiger drops his cigarette and follows the rat. They happen upon an elephant chewing tobacco. The rat gives him the same spiel and admonishes him. Shamed and intrigued, the elephant follows him. The three of them again stumble upon a lion drinking himself senseless. The rat proceeds to deliver the same lecture and gets smacked into the bushes by the lion.

“He was only trying to show us a better path and sights to live for. Why did you smack him?” protested the tiger.

“Better path and Sights to live for, my arse! The fucking rat is horny as hell. He took me crawling into the undergrowth, got me stuck and had his way with me. Why the hell do you think I’m drinking?”

Edit: tried a better punchline.