free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

Recently got a Vasectomy because I did not wish to have children

It didn’t work at all. Came home after the procedure and my son was still there

50 responses to “Recently got a Vasectomy because I did not wish to have children”

  1. notelguapo Avatar

    My wife and I want 2 kids. This is causing many issues because we have 4!

  2. Prossdog Avatar

    I told my doctor I wanted to get a vasectomy.

    He said “well now, that’s a big decision. Have you talked about this with your family?”

    I said “yeah, and they’re in favor 14-3.”

  3. liquidporkchops Avatar

    Mine didn’t work either my wife had two kids after I got mine.

  4. Cliffoakley Avatar

    Funny joke……but jokes aside….it was the best thing I ever did. Takes 5 minutes. Didn’t hurt when it’s done. A bit ‘tender’ for a few days after. For people who take the term ‘shooting blanks’ literally….. the sperm is a tiny part of the ejaculation, so, to the eye nothing changes. Why have I said this here? I guarantee there will be readers who didn’t know what I have just said. There’s always a place for education ?

  5. uglypaperhaver Avatar

    Male and female sterilization are *not at all* identical.

    (in fact, there’s a vas deferens!)

  6. predat3d Avatar

    Like the South Park episode where Cartman’s mom got fed up with him and sought a 30th-trimester abortion

  7. Nordicmoose Avatar

    Got myself a vasectomy because I didn’t want kids.

    Turns out it just changes the colour of the baby.

  8. UntoldTruth_ Avatar

    Wow this is a first for me since I’ve been on reddit.

    Someone reposted one of the comments from the same joke that was posted earlier…

    Enjoy your karma ig.

  9. Henri_Dupont Avatar

    My vasectomy didn’t prevent kids. It just changed the color of the new ones.

  10. Mental_Medium3988 Avatar

    If you didn’t want kids you should have been born with my face.

  11. LemonZeppelin27 Avatar

    Having a vasectomy doesn’t stop you from having kids. It just changes the colour of them.

  12. skgody Avatar

    What do you call a man with a vasectomy?

    Just juice!

  13. jaywright58 Avatar

    True but funny story about getting a vasectomy. I got one and the next day found out I was going to be a father again.

  14. Soapy-Cilantro Avatar

    This was literally the top reply to the other vasectomy joke.

    Low effort. Booooo

  15. oarngebean Avatar

    The version I heard was

    I got a vasectomy because I didn’t want to have anymore kids but the doctor must if done something wrong because all it did was change the color of my kids

  16. _uberwench_ Avatar

    I’m sorry but I’ve seen this joke as a post and in comments at least 5 times in the last couple of days. Get new material please.

  17. PedroFPardo Avatar

    My wife and I decided that we don’t want to have kids.
    We are on our way to tell them now, let’s see how they react.

  18. CartographerTricky83 Avatar

    Update: My son is still annoying as ever he keeps asking me for a “book mark”

    Can’t believe he’s 13 years old and still doesn’t know my name is Jackson

  19. SteaminScaldren Avatar

    He needed the milk special

  20. fnoguei1 Avatar

    just go buy cigarettes

  21. ---Loading--- Avatar

    When I decided I don’t want children I got home and told them to get the fuck out.

  22. Direct_Big_5436 Avatar

    Good one!

  23. itsthe5thhm Avatar

    Feels bad man

  24. Ghadente Avatar

    Ha… Snip snap snip snap!

  25. CSsharpGO Avatar

    Just have a *really* late abortion

  26. someone_in_the_rye Avatar

    Maybe the boy isn’t yours ?

  27. Trid1977 Avatar

    Maybe after the follow-up appointment, to check whether it worked.

  28. Ayomichan Avatar

    I almost thought, for a split second that it was a repost

  29. donteverforanyreason Avatar

    This was literally just posted and you changed the format slightly

  30. therealjimstacey Avatar

    I had a vasectomy. Expected big changes, but there is no vas deferens.

  31. KarizmaWithaK Avatar

    My husband and I decided not to have children. We’ll be telling them when they get home from school.

  32. IrishTerminator Avatar

    We have two children Nine and Fourteen, strange names but we love them anyway

  33. sinr_88 Avatar

    Easy solution, pop up to the store for some milk and you generally never see them again.

  34. New-Acanthisitta-858 Avatar

    “I told my doctor I wanted a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine I don’t need one.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield

  35. Jinshu_Daishi Avatar

    Did you also read that comment?

    Because I was going to post that joke, before you beat me to it.

  36. PlumbStraightLevel Avatar

    “Son, you’re adopted”. Son says ” who are my parent’s”. Dad says ” i don’t know, they’re on the way to pick you up”.

  37. DTrigot Avatar

    Mine didn’t work either. My wife got pregnant again only this time the baby looked totally different than the rest.

  38. [deleted] Avatar


  39. Tidesticky Avatar

    Wait, are vasectomies still legal?

  40. XennialDeeJayQ Avatar

    I had mine scheduled after my son was born and my ex wife went to the gynecologist (first one after giving birth) and she was already pregnant again.

  41. MedvedFeliz Avatar

    You need a post-natal abortion.

  42. ThatGuyThatSaysWords Avatar

    My wife and I don’t want kids. We’re telling them over dinner tonight.

  43. Johnnydigi003 Avatar

    I don’t understand how my wife still got pregnant

  44. boitrubl Avatar

    Zero stars.
    Do not recommend.

  45. sunufgud Avatar

    Dad jokes

  46. Zeek86 Avatar

    I heard you could abandon your kids………they didn’t tell me they would find their way back.

  47. Aiwass_the_voice Avatar

    Maybe you should have checked your privileges.

  48. hmmm_thought_pig Avatar

    Since the repeal of Roe V Wade, vasectomies aren’t working anymore, either.

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