free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

No single bird can defeat me.

But Toucan.


22 responses to “No single bird can defeat me.”

  1. mekanik-jr Avatar
    mekanik-jr

    And the universe hears your boast and sends a single, mildly irritated canadian goose.

  2. Schmandpfropfen Avatar
    Schmandpfropfen

    And three or more crows might even murder me.

  3. Conscious-Extent-965 Avatar
    Conscious-Extent-965

    Good thing it was a Toucan and not a cockatoo. You would’ve been fucked then.

  4. A_Mirabeau_702 Avatar
    A_Mirabeau_702

    Recommended weapon: One stone.

  5. kotarosaranoska Avatar
    kotarosaranoska

    What about a flock of seagulls?

  6. Waitsfornoone Avatar
    Waitsfornoone

    What did the tropical bird say when the monkey stole his fruit?

    Toucan play at that game.

  7. AlexanderHamilton04 Avatar
    AlexanderHamilton04

    OP has experience with a cockatoo.

  8. teksun42 Avatar
    teksun42

    Toucan Sam?

  9. Aggravating_Lemon_32 Avatar
    Aggravating_Lemon_32

    What the duck ?

  10. AhhAGoose Avatar
    AhhAGoose

    I know of a bird that prolly can

  11. PNDMike Avatar
    PNDMike

    False. A single cassowary will absolutely defeat you and ruin your day.

  12. AKMonkey2 Avatar
    AKMonkey2

    Spoiler tag? Maybe look up the word spoiler before you choose that tag next time.

  13. Shop_Kooky Avatar
    Shop_Kooky

    I had a goose chase me on a few occasions if it would’ve caught me who knows what could’ve happened

  14. Ajsiets Avatar
    Ajsiets

    What about two with one stone?

  15. PianoOk6786 Avatar
    PianoOk6786

    Reminds me of yesterday when I went out front to cut the dead blooms off rose bushes. I walk out and these idk what kind of small birds have decided our front stoop is their home. This bird flies in front of my face. Out of arms reach and, like, bows up on me making this “threatening” sound! It kept flying toward me fast, then backing up. I was *shocked*!!

    So I made a fast move towards it and it flew off. I’ve got my gloves on, clippers in hand. He came back and did it again! Even though I didn’t want to be mean, I had to get the hose out to keep from being harassed by these little birds that were acting like they wanted to fight me!

    Ended up getting my motion/noise activated clown out of the Halloween stuff and putting him on the front stoop. True story!

  16. SlobMarley13 Avatar
    SlobMarley13

    They will flock you up

  17. roachRancher Avatar
    roachRancher

    An ostrich can take you. It takes like three guys just to fuck one.

  18. we_toucans_share Avatar
    we_toucans_share

    Because we share in defeating you!

  19. LameLaYou Avatar
    LameLaYou

    LE TOUCAN IS HERE

  20. Southernmanny Avatar
    Southernmanny

    Duck

  21. Mister_Phist Avatar
    Mister_Phist

    This post is way less funny after you remember ratites exist

  22. ashfidel Avatar
    ashfidel

    r/dadjokes

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