just open your fucking mouth ;p
“Why are you late, Johnny?” Asked his teacher.
“Well,” explained Johnny. “Just round the corner, there was a poor old lady looking everywhere for a £20 she lost. She was looking for half an hour! I couldn’t walk away.”
“I see. That’s really nice of you to help her.”
Johnny replied “Help her? No, I was standing on it.”
It can’t be easy being Little Johnny. He is constantly having to think his way through situations so that he can come out on top – which he invariably does.
A group of kids come up to Little Johnny, giggling and laughing. They offer him a dime and a nickel. Little Johnny takes the nickel and the kids walk away guffawing loudly at the stupidity.
An adult comes over to Little Johnny and says, You know they’re making fun of you, right? The dime is worth more than the nickel even though it’s smaller.
Little Johnny replies, Oh, yes sir, I do! They offer me the dime or the nickel all the time, but if I picked the dime they’d stop offering it to me. So far I’ve made six and a half dollars!
Story.
I (6) was walking out of a store with my nan when she pointed out a 50c coin on the ground, surrounded by people idling around it. She told me that they were probably waiting for everyone else to go so that they could grab the money. We walked right through the group and I bent down and picked up the money and kept walking. Turned around, after we passed another shop, and the groups were gone/leaving.
So dishonest enough to steal but stupidly honest enough to admit something he wasn’t suspected of?
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