free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

Jesus walks into a restaurant and asks for a table for 23..

Waitress says, “but there’s only 13 of you”

Jesus says, “yes but we all want to sit on 1 side”

EDIT; supposed to be 26..

46 responses to “Jesus walks into a restaurant and asks for a table for 23..”

  1. DragonSpikez Avatar

    I think your math is a little off

  2. mr-poopie-butth0le Avatar

    I think it’s funnier that you fucked up 13*2

  3. karanfil_kokusu Avatar

    No one said that the Lord was a mathematician…

  4. Rezart_KLD Avatar

    Jesus counts as 3, so you’re only off by 1 if that helps.

  5. svenson_26 Avatar

    “Fine, I’ll allow it for this supper, but this will be the LAST supper!

  6. Thewrongbakedpotato Avatar

    Jesus asks for a table for 23 people.

    Waitress says, “there’s only 13 of you!”

    Jesus says, “yeah, but we’re all gonna sit in the same side!”

    Waitress says, “that still doesn’t add up!”

    Peter says, “sorry, he can’t count. He once handed fish and bread out to a dozen people and told everybody it was 5,000.”

  7. KiraTsukasa Avatar

    Reminds me of the joke Robin Williams made.

  8. phillyxphill Avatar

    Waitress: here’s all that water you wanted

    Jesus: thank you ?

  9. BeBackInASchmeck Avatar

    Your top post of all time will forever be a reminder of how bad you are at math.

  10. 3percentinvisible Avatar

    The letter C walks into a restaurant and says she’s having a get together for all her other letter friends, and would like a table for 25. The hostess asks why not 26. “I don’t know y” replies C

  11. SnipTheDog Avatar

    Table for XXVI.

  12. Swedish_Centipede Avatar

    You had one job

  13. Miroito Avatar

    Upvote so more people can see op’s bad math

  14. shakeszoola Avatar

    Jesus asks for a table for 23 people.

    Waiter says, “I can’t do that, we don’t have a table that large”

    Jesus (looks at name tag) says, “Look here Peter, we would like a table for 23”

    Peter says, “sorry, sir, I just can’t do that”

    Jesus says, “I demand a manager and a table”

    Peter says, “I am the manager and there is just no way.”

    Jesus and his disciples walks out as Peter denies Jesus 3 times.

  15. Adingding90 Avatar

    Waiter: Here’s the bill sir.

    Jesus: (Stares, facepalms, then slowly massages His temples) Who… Just who ordered wine?

  16. Holmes221bBSt Avatar

    He sits down and promptly orders a Rusty Nail from the server

  17. DrinkingExpiredCream Avatar

    Jesus: come to this side of the table if y’all wanna be in the picture!

  18. DrinkinRye Avatar

    Not only did you [steal Mel Brooks’ joke]( you fucking did it [on his birthday](

  19. The_Osta Avatar

    Jesus, couldn’t even get the joke right.

  20. WellandandAnderson Avatar

    Would you like to see the wine menu?

    No, water will be fine, thanks.

  21. frescary Avatar

    That was the “last” time he did that.

  22. inspire-change Avatar

    the edit was the funniest part! i lol’ed at that!

  23. Bobby_Newpooort Avatar

    This is the worst version of a joke that already sucks

  24. lucash7 Avatar

    A person walks into r/Jokes and tries to tell a joke…

  25. dude_who_could Avatar

    I mean.. Is there no seats on the sides? 1-13-1-13 is 28 seats.

  26. sufferingplanet Avatar

    Literally a joke from Robin Williams.

  27. EstebanElGuapo Avatar

    Waitress: they turned water into wine to save on the costs of ordering wine.
    Broke loaves and fishes to make more loaves and fishes. The one in charge seemed to think that we would welcome them in and share food else were being poor hosts. He suggested we weren’t reporting our tips, said give to ceaser what is ceasers; then get this he asked for a donation, saying and give to god what is gods. He held out his hand expectantly. Big ego. No tip. One of them left early and called in the watch. He actually looked like the one who had the money but he tossed it into a field across the way. 1* wouldn’t recommend.

  28. ohgimmeabreak Avatar

    That bitch, Judas ain’t getting a seat, and one angel has a tiny ass, so 11.5 seats will do

  29. RGBarrios Avatar

    Joke ruines because of bad maths

  30. Captain_Banana_pants Avatar

    Instead of nailing it, u just screwed it.

  31. asstopple Avatar

    I love how this turned into an argument about math. I love the internet

  32. mykylodge Avatar

    Can’t believe how long it took me but I got there in the end, haha

  33. Mike2220 Avatar

    Neither the math or joke make sense to me

  34. oregonduck613 Avatar

    Stupid joke and it’s wrong.

  35. nonoimsomeoneelse Avatar

    Dont worry, if you can comprehend simple mathematics, you’ll still make a great republican US senator.

  36. Cduke3829 Avatar

    It was funnier on Family Guy

  37. ExcelBro Avatar

    This isn’t funny even if you had gotten the math right

  38. Awesomeuser90 Avatar

    No. You only need two tables to seat 4 thousand people.

  39. aka_Toasty Avatar

    it’s not a table with one side, they are at the bar

  40. wernercd Avatar

    I want to laugh at this joke but I haven’t heard both sides of it.

  41. DisasterTimes Avatar

    24 dumb ass, 24

  42. Sedso85 Avatar

    Pretty sure thats a ricky gervais joke

  43. nordic-cidron Avatar

    Plus one guy that is going to take a painting of us.

  44. leftbreastfanclub Avatar

    Judas has to sit in a booster seat

  45. dkwangchuck Avatar

    Math checks out. Thomas and Judas aren’t joining the meal this time around.

  46. Adam_is_Nutz Avatar

    Id love to be on the other side of that table. Then Jesus would be…..across…

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