A Jack Russell and a Great Dane are in the waiting room at a vets…

JR: “Why are you here ?”

GD: “Fuck off.”

JR: “No, come on, let’s be friendly, we’re both dogs, we don’t want to be here, we should support each other,”

GD: “<sigh>”

JR: “I’ll tell you why I’m here and then to can tell me why you’re here…”

GD: “Oh, ok…”

JR: “Right! Well, I walked into the kitchen and I saw my mistresses cat, who’s really tasty, bent over her water bowl and I don’t what came over me but rushed her from behind and started to give her a right good seeing to. Anyway, my mistress caught me and so she brought me here to have my bollocks cut off.”

GD: “Really, how interesting…” (said the disinterested Great Dane)

JR: “Come on then, it’s your turn, tell me why you’re here…”

GD: “Oh if you insist… well… I lolloped into the hallway and saw my mistress bent over picking up the mail at the front-door… she was wearing just a short transparent skimpy neglige and no knickers and, well, I don’t know what came over me, but I ran up behind here, forced her onto the floor, and started giving her a right good seeing to ‘doggy-style’ if you know what I mean. So she brought me here.”

JR: “Oh no, so you’re here for the same as me, getting your bollocks chopped off.”

GD: “No, I’m getting my nails clipped.”