free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

I need jokes!!!

I come here needing all of your help!!!

I have a close friend who recently discovered he has cancer. He has been down in the dumps the last few days, so i cracked a cancer joke and it instantly made his day. I told him i will have a cancer joke everyday for him.

So i need you all to load me up with some cancer jokes!

Thanks all!

14 responses to “I need jokes!!!”

  1. AlmostSane67 Avatar

    I hated that skin lump when it first showed up, but it’s really grown on me.

  2. lalu77 Avatar

    Why is cancer so hard to beat? I’m already on stage 4

  3. fuckswithqwerty Avatar

    My aunt’s zodiac sign was Cancer. Ironic, considering how she died. She was eaten by a giant crab.

  4. chrispy137 Avatar

    So the doctor tells the guy “I have double bad news for you… You have severe dementia, and you also have cancer..” ….” Well, ” responds the guy..” at least I don’t have cancer! “

  5. chrispy137 Avatar

    My grief counselor died this morning, but she was so good that I really don’t even fucking care.

  6. Scubadrew Avatar

    I can’t remember her name, but there was a female stand-up comedian that did a full set on her cancer diagnosis. This was several years ago. Try a Google and YouTube search.

  7. hungrytiredandbored Avatar

    You want a dark joke?

  8. [deleted] Avatar


  9. GuiltChip Avatar

    What does the milk in my fridge and your friend have in common?
    They both have a short expiration date.
    (Really sorry.)

  10. GuiltChip Avatar

    What does the milk in my fridge and your friend have in common?
    They both have a short expiration date.
    (Really sorry.)

  11. krabmeat Avatar

    [I, too, have a can, sir](

  12. roddomusprime Avatar

    I don’t know any cancer jokes but I have a lot of other jokes…

    2 windmills were in a field and one said to the other what is your favorite music and it replied I am a big metal fan

    Did i tell you about the pen I got from the bank? its off the chain

    I go to the gym so infrequently I call it the James

    I only hang out with odd people because I can’t even

    What sucks and has 9 arms? Def Leppard

    How do you get and old lady to curse? yell bingo

    What did Jay Z call his wife before they were married? Feyonce

    Did I ever tell you about my step ladder? I never knew my real ladder.

    What is Irish and stays out all night? Patty’O furniture

    Why did the beach lifeguard yell at the hippy? They were too far out

    How do you know if a hippy has been sleeping on your couch? they are still there

    What did the hippy say when you asked them to leave? namasta.


    Off the topic of cancer but hey maybe at least one will make your friend laugh.

  13. saultlode69 Avatar

    Most cancer jokes I know tend to get a positive response

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