just open your fucking mouth ;p
I come here needing all of your help!!!
I have a close friend who recently discovered he has cancer. He has been down in the dumps the last few days, so i cracked a cancer joke and it instantly made his day. I told him i will have a cancer joke everyday for him.
So i need you all to load me up with some cancer jokes!
Thanks all!
I hated that skin lump when it first showed up, but it’s really grown on me.
Why is cancer so hard to beat? I’m already on stage 4
My aunt’s zodiac sign was Cancer. Ironic, considering how she died. She was eaten by a giant crab.
So the doctor tells the guy “I have double bad news for you… You have severe dementia, and you also have cancer..” ….” Well, ” responds the guy..” at least I don’t have cancer! “
My grief counselor died this morning, but she was so good that I really don’t even fucking care.
I can’t remember her name, but there was a female stand-up comedian that did a full set on her cancer diagnosis. This was several years ago. Try a Google and YouTube search.
You want a dark joke?
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What does the milk in my fridge and your friend have in common?
They both have a short expiration date.
(Really sorry.)
What does the milk in my fridge and your friend have in common?
They both have a short expiration date.
(Really sorry.)
[I, too, have a can, sir](https://imgur.com/a/6r1dhgj)
I don’t know any cancer jokes but I have a lot of other jokes…
2 windmills were in a field and one said to the other what is your favorite music and it replied I am a big metal fan
Did i tell you about the pen I got from the bank? its off the chain
I go to the gym so infrequently I call it the James
I only hang out with odd people because I can’t even
What sucks and has 9 arms? Def Leppard
How do you get and old lady to curse? yell bingo
What did Jay Z call his wife before they were married? Feyonce
Did I ever tell you about my step ladder? I never knew my real ladder.
What is Irish and stays out all night? Patty’O furniture
Why did the beach lifeguard yell at the hippy? They were too far out
How do you know if a hippy has been sleeping on your couch? they are still there
What did the hippy say when you asked them to leave? namasta.
​
Off the topic of cancer but hey maybe at least one will make your friend laugh.
Most cancer jokes I know tend to get a positive response
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