free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

I found a bundle of dollar bills in the street. As a devout Christian, I asked myself, “What would Jesus do?”

So I turned it into wine.

28 responses to “I found a bundle of dollar bills in the street. As a devout Christian, I asked myself, “What would Jesus do?””


    When I was a young lad in Sunday school, I was taught to remember “WWJD” in times of strife – What Would Jesus Do?

    Now im grown I still remember WWJD, except it now stands for Who Wants Jack Daniels?

  2. fancybigballs Avatar

    Has anyone lost a large roll of 20-dollar bills in a rubber band?

    Because we found the rubber band.

  3. sharrrper Avatar

    When I was a kid I prayed to Jesus every night to bring me a bike but he never did. Then I remembered that’s not how Jesus works, so I stole one and asked for his forgiveness.

  4. ephmal Avatar

    …or you could have invested it and turned it into more money. JC was know to make things multiply…remember the story about the little fishes?

  5. mem269 Avatar

    I gave it to my friend, Mary the hooker.

  6. PeterImprov Avatar

    Jesus saves, so you put it in your account?

  7. ellingtond Avatar

    I took my friends out to dinner. We got a table for 20 and all set on one side.

  8. vr0202 Avatar

    And ye shall walk boldly into the quarters of the harlots, and sprinkle them with holy water from thine sprout.

  9. BigBobby2016 Avatar

    Wow! If this is original it’s fantastic

  10. AE_WILLIAMS Avatar

    Give it to the poor…

    …strippers down to the club!

  11. reinraus00 Avatar

    You lit it on fire and sent it to hell?

  12. Thud2 Avatar

    And gave Mary Magdalene some work.

  13. majorjoe23 Avatar

    If Jesus found dollar coins on the street he would probably have a hard time holding them.

  14. Westworld-Kenny Avatar

    Well, if you ask other people gathering money on the street corner, you could make it into wine, mad-dog, colt45… To paraphrase the great Cal Naughton Jr. – “My Jesus likes to party”

  15. CactusChan-OwO Avatar

    Turn that poop into wine

  16. Assfrontation Avatar

    I don’t get it

  17. hassium Avatar

    >I found a bundle of dollar bills in the street. As a devout Christian, I asked myself, “What would Jesus do?”

    So anyway, I moved in with twelve gullible guys and told them to eat of my body and drink of my blood…

  18. PALANTR Avatar

    *So I put it in a fish’s mouth.*

  19. TreatGlittering7469 Avatar

    Give 10% to charity and go to Vegas

  20. FraggedYourMom Avatar

    Local dock sales had mostly crap seltzers and Mexican beer the other week. So I asked myself What Would Jesus Drink

  21. KidenStormsoarer Avatar

    He’d use it to help people, so you should go give it to some strippers

  22. Ginger_afro Avatar

    Never been to the Vatican? He would probably hoard it along with all the gold and riches the church accumulates.

  23. jeffinRTP Avatar

    The difference between Jews and Christians is that moses would have invested the money.

  24. dbhathcock Avatar

    Jesus turned WATER into WINE, not money.

  25. GooGooJones Avatar

    What? A joke on here without sexual connotations? So the internet isn’t really the sanctuary of perverts and incels.

  26. TooMuchFun007 Avatar

    Remember now, Jesus would have also contributed to the wealth of his mother, a prostitute.

  27. themaniaxx Avatar

    this sub need balance

  28. BoredKen Avatar

    You ruined the joke. The original joke had the context of you seeing someone dropping the money. Your version makes no sense as there’s nothing wrong about taking money from a street if you don’t know who it belongs to.

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