free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny “have you ever heard of the word contagious before?”

“Of course miss” Johnny replies “my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday”.

“Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?”

“Yes, miss. We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said ‘it’s going to take the contagious to pick all that up.”

24 responses to “During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny “have you ever heard of the word contagious before?””

  1. [deleted] Avatar


  2. stretchpadawan Avatar

    In Australian classrooms, this is an A.

  3. Airblazer Avatar

    Everytime I hear the word cunt I always picture Butcher from the boys and here in Ireland we use that word a lot.

  4. Jeremiah3131 Avatar

    I don’t get it.

  5. usernames_are_danger Avatar

    I love little Jonny jokes…as Mexicans, we got Juanito jokes.

  6. suipi Avatar

    Took me agious to get it.

  7. thereaverofdarkness Avatar

    Teacher: “Little Johnny, can you use the word ‘urinate’ in a sentence?”
    Little Johnny: “On a scale from 1 to 10, urinate.”

    He got a B.

  8. EstebanElGuapo Avatar

    water yawn bout?

  9. uriar Avatar

    Took me a moment but then I laughed. Good job!

  10. Roasted_Chicken_Rice Avatar

    take my award u legend!

  11. accidental-poet Avatar

    I heard it this way:

    “My Dad and I were sitting on the front porch watching the old lady next door picking up leaves one at a time and Dad said, ‘It’s going to take the contagious doing it that way.’ “

  12. danxmanly Avatar

    Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?

  13. groverjuicy Avatar

    My mother (yeah, she was a foul-mouthed fucker) told me this joke when I was about 8 or 9.

    Adults here needing it explained? Fuck.

  14. Reinylane Avatar

    I had to say it out loud a couple of times, but then I laughed.

  15. Me_Weeb_ Avatar

    i don’t get it

  16. kthardja Avatar

    I didn’t get it until reading that out loud with propper ‘accentuation’ of the word ‘contagious’ ?

  17. ehhdjdmebshsmajsjssn Avatar

    For a second i thought it said Johnny English in the little

  18. IAmDewman Avatar

    His father is Butcher.

  19. josvicars Avatar

    This joke works best using an Irish accent

  20. JHugh4749 Avatar

    I think it work better if it read “….watching the neighbor take **her** garbage out when **her** bin tipped over….”.

    Otherwise, good joke.

  21. nicky_zodiac Avatar


  22. groverjuicy Avatar

    Wow. When I made an effort to learn other languages (Espanol, Bahasa Indonesia) I didn’t expect everyone else to dumb it down for me. I guess I should have! Fuck putting in effort, it’s *everyone else’s job* to do it for me!

  23. mlamat Avatar

    I don’t get it.

  24. Woody_L Avatar

    Uh, never heard of a student addressing his teacher as “miss”. Is this a regional thing? In the US, an elderly person might address a much younger woman as miss, but a younger person would never use that with an older woman.

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