just open your fucking mouth ;p
An old lady is complaining to her motel receptionist that a man in the room across from hers is taking a shower with the blinds up.
‘It’s obscene!’, she yells. The receptionist goes up to her room and says, ‘Well ma’am, you can’t see anything from your window except the man’s head.’
Now she’s really mad. ‘Is that so! IS THAT SO! Get on that table and take a look!’
As the late, great Hitch points out:
“Shortly after completing his dictionary, Dr Samuel Johnson was visited by a delegation of London’s “respectable womanhood”.
They exclaimed: “Dr, we congratulate you on your exclusion of all indecent words”.
To which he replied: “Ladies, I congratulate you on your persistence in looking them up.
If people are determined to be offended – if they will climb up the ladder, balancing it precariously on their own toilet cistern, to be upset by what they see through the neighbour’s bathroom window, there’s nothing you can do.”
I recall there was a pond off Nelson Highway outside Longmont CO across from the IBM building where some of the employees would skinny dip on their lunch break. An old lady who lived nearby would phone the police every time it happened. She was offended by their displays of public nudity. The police finally caught on and told her she should put away her binoculars.
So she was peeping on him?
Love this. The efforts some people go through to be offended…
I once got it on with an ex girlfriend at a motel after a long drive. We were at it for quite a while. After we finished I got dressed and went outside to check out a lunar eclipse that had already begun. There was a crowd of about 20-30 people in the car park checking it out with telescopes. I realised at some point that the curtain which appeared solid from inside the room was in fact so thin that it was possible to see right into the room with stunning clarity.
Tldr gave about 20-30 strangers a show they probably never forgot
I went with friends to pick up a puppy from the next city over. Puppy sat on my lap during the trip back, and partway let loose from both barrels. The towel I had was insufficient to stop the end product from soaking both my pants and shirt.
As it smelled like the Devil’s arsehole, I bagged up the shirt and pants then tossed them in a bag which he trunked.
When we reached town, a drove right by a whole bunch of people with cameras pointed across traffic. It looked like some sort of photography project/class. I’m pretty sure there’s at least a dozen photos somewhere of me in the passenger seat wearing only my underwear and a puppy by my feet.
I don’t get it. Can anyone explain?
Call the “blind” man he will fix it.
I don’t get it
Amta! I don’t get it
. All
Qw. Q
. It ha ew
I don’t think blinds are very effective in a shower
I get it
I just feel like pointing out, over the years society has gradually made it politically incorrect to make fun of:
* black people and other minorities (racist!)
* gay people (bigots!)
* women (you incel! though blonde jokes are still mostly ok)
* fat people (body shaming!)
* the handicapped (evil!)
etc…etc.
It’s good to see old people are still fair game. You can still always paint old ladies as desperate and everyone just laughs.
This one got me??
I mean, real men shit with the door open
I will always hear this in the voice of Red Skelton.
Wow
It sure was at the time.
I thought I was on r/TalesFromTheFrontDesk for a sec.
The original punchline, as I recall, from 1960 was “Stand on that bed”
I suppose he own blinds didn’t work, either
Not Boulder reservoir. I used to swim there with my family. There was a small pond on the West side of Nelson Hwy where the IBM folks would go. Used to pass it on my way into Boulder. I worked for Yocum Plastering on Nelson Hwy.
Leave a Reply