An elderly lady’s husband habitually falls asleep during the sermon, so she meets with the pastor one Saturday and tells him “Give me a wink every time you notice my husband falling asleep so I can poke him with a hat pin and wake him up.” The pastor agrees.

The next day, sure enough, during the sermon, the old man dozes off, so as the pastor gives the old lady a wink as he asks “Who created the heavens and the earth?” The old lady jabs her husband in the thigh with the pin and he leaps up, exclaiming “GOD ALMIGHTY!!!!”

About ten minutes later, he nods off again and the pastor winks again while asking “Who died for our sins?” The old lady jabs her husband again and he leaps up, exclaiming “JESUS CHRIST!!!!”

A few minutes later he starts nodding off again and the pastor winks while asking “What did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their third son, Seth?” The old lady reaches to jab her husband again and he growls “IF YOU POKE ME WITH THAT DAMN THING ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I’M BREAKING IT OFF AND SHOVING IT UP YOUR ASS!”