free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

An elderly woman’s husband keeps falling asleep in church

An elderly lady’s husband habitually falls asleep during the sermon, so she meets with the pastor one Saturday and tells him “Give me a wink every time you notice my husband falling asleep so I can poke him with a hat pin and wake him up.” The pastor agrees.

The next day, sure enough, during the sermon, the old man dozes off, so as the pastor gives the old lady a wink as he asks “Who created the heavens and the earth?” The old lady jabs her husband in the thigh with the pin and he leaps up, exclaiming “GOD ALMIGHTY!!!!”

About ten minutes later, he nods off again and the pastor winks again while asking “Who died for our sins?” The old lady jabs her husband again and he leaps up, exclaiming “JESUS CHRIST!!!!”

A few minutes later he starts nodding off again and the pastor winks while asking “What did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their third son, Seth?” The old lady reaches to jab her husband again and he growls “IF YOU POKE ME WITH THAT DAMN THING ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I’M BREAKING IT OFF AND SHOVING IT UP YOUR ASS!”

9 responses to “An elderly woman’s husband keeps falling asleep in church”

  1. ballrus_walsack Avatar

    Ah. Ol’ #458

  2. SewNonlinear Avatar


  3. VolsPride Avatar

    In defiance, he still poketh, and so she broketh, and shoveth, and thus the first “peg” dost cometh.

  4. tommy_boy007 Avatar

    That was not a joke. That was a story.

  5. GokiPotato Avatar

    I heard a czech version of the joke once, it’s nice to see a joke existing in more languages and not being ruined by it, because most of them are completely unfunny after translation

  6. Somebody-or-somethin Avatar


  7. Direct_Big_5436 Avatar

    Great joke I didn’t see that one coming

  8. TheAres1999 Avatar

    In the Bible Adam basically refers to Seth as the replacement child for Abel, so maybe this is a better response.

  9. Iceflakes Avatar


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