A park employee came running, yelling “STOP! You cant do that here!”
I said “Why not?”
He said “You have to cremate him first!”
free joke here ;p
just open your fucking mouth ;p
After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains
29 responses to “After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains”
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I scattered my Dads remains in his favorite Halloween haunted house.
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I love that the employee’s first response isn’t “WTF?! Why are you throwing around human body parts” or to call 911. He just offers a friendly tip.
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… and even then, you can’t do it at Disneyland.
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Dad,
When I had you cremated, I didn’t know it would kill you. -
“Please do not feed the vultures”
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When I die, I want to be cremated, and chocolated.
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Ha! First ten minutes employees are like: watch out he’s armed!
After that they’re running after him screaming: get him! He’s legging it!
Twenty minutes after that the employees have no clue where he’s at. One turns to the others and goes: welp looks like he got a head start on us!
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A finger here. A tooth there. An eyeball under his favorite tree. This is what dad would have wanted.
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Omg
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Really expected an Action Park joke
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What? Woodchipper isn’t good enough?
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It’s actually illegal to scatter remains in a lotta places especially parks im pretty sure, or at least a lot of bodies of water and protected areas. And it can be considered littering anywhere I guess. Personally I don’t think a little bit of carbon is bad for anything in nature, aren’t ashes good for nature?
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It was a water park.
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I want to be butchered and served to the tiger in the zoo (after I am dead, of course). Then as long as I have a family line, they will say, “Your great, great uncle BBCARD1 got eaten by a tiger!”
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I was once working a boat tour, docked the boat and came to the stern to let people off. There was what seemed to be concrete dust all over the place on the back deck. I rubbed my fingers in it, smelled it, trying to figure out what it was. Asked the people sitting back there if they knew what I was and a middle aged woman near the front loudly whispered “it’s my mom”.
She had tried to dump her remains in the bay but because of wind and aerodynamics, it went everywhere. People got off the boat and she stayed, cried a little, said it was where her mom had her honeymoon, and I cleaned it up best I could with a broom and a dustpan and dumped the rest in the river. Weird day -
I laughed all over the place with this one
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When I die chain an anchor to my feet and chuck me in the sea, that’d be a good sand off.
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r/threesentencehorror !!
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I also watched Amy Schumers recent standup thing on Netflix, you nailed the joke word for word
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There is not enough context in this joke. How did the park ranger know so much? Why did the park ranger assume the deceased’s identity? This shit belongs in r/conspiracy
Edit: Wow this sub sure takes things seriously
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I expected a water park punchline. Kudos.
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Dark and funny
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OMG ?
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This went dark quickly
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If you have a pyrolitic oven, you can chop him up and cremate him in that.
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Probably best not to analyze all the little parts of this joke 😉
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Dad said he was at the bar, he’s totally gonna win
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Definitely made me think of [this recent SNL sketch.](https://youtu.be/JTl5jKJJido)
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Ewww
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