free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains

A park employee came running, yelling “STOP! You cant do that here!”

I said “Why not?”

He said “You have to cremate him first!”

29 responses to “After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains”

  1. Transki Avatar

    I scattered my Dads remains in his favorite Halloween haunted house.

  2. CrimeCoder Avatar

    I love that the employee’s first response isn’t “WTF?! Why are you throwing around human body parts” or to call 911. He just offers a friendly tip.

  3. Waitsfornoone Avatar

    … and even then, you can’t do it at Disneyland.

  4. Monkespank Avatar

    When I had you cremated, I didn’t know it would kill you.

  5. antiquemule Avatar

    “Please do not feed the vultures”

  6. CarlosFer2201 Avatar

    When I die, I want to be cremated, and chocolated.

  7. Mysterysheep12 Avatar

    Ha! First ten minutes employees are like: watch out he’s armed!

    After that they’re running after him screaming: get him! He’s legging it!

    Twenty minutes after that the employees have no clue where he’s at. One turns to the others and goes: welp looks like he got a head start on us!

  8. rascally1980 Avatar

    A finger here. A tooth there. An eyeball under his favorite tree. This is what dad would have wanted.

  9. MedStew57 Avatar


  10. blakeo192 Avatar

    Really expected an Action Park joke

  11. bewer Avatar

    What? Woodchipper isn’t good enough?

  12. techsuppr0t Avatar

    It’s actually illegal to scatter remains in a lotta places especially parks im pretty sure, or at least a lot of bodies of water and protected areas. And it can be considered littering anywhere I guess. Personally I don’t think a little bit of carbon is bad for anything in nature, aren’t ashes good for nature?

  13. JaeCryme Avatar

    It was a water park.

  14. bbcard1 Avatar

    I want to be butchered and served to the tiger in the zoo (after I am dead, of course). Then as long as I have a family line, they will say, “Your great, great uncle BBCARD1 got eaten by a tiger!”

  15. bittertiger Avatar

    I was once working a boat tour, docked the boat and came to the stern to let people off. There was what seemed to be concrete dust all over the place on the back deck. I rubbed my fingers in it, smelled it, trying to figure out what it was. Asked the people sitting back there if they knew what I was and a middle aged woman near the front loudly whispered “it’s my mom”.
    She had tried to dump her remains in the bay but because of wind and aerodynamics, it went everywhere. People got off the boat and she stayed, cried a little, said it was where her mom had her honeymoon, and I cleaned it up best I could with a broom and a dustpan and dumped the rest in the river. Weird day

  16. t007ny Avatar

    I laughed all over the place with this one

  17. AlGunner Avatar

    When I die chain an anchor to my feet and chuck me in the sea, that’d be a good sand off.

  18. fifa_addict_ps4 Avatar

    r/threesentencehorror !!

  19. FlatheadLakeMonster Avatar

    I also watched Amy Schumers recent standup thing on Netflix, you nailed the joke word for word

  20. Putnum Avatar

    There is not enough context in this joke. How did the park ranger know so much? Why did the park ranger assume the deceased’s identity? This shit belongs in r/conspiracy

    Edit: Wow this sub sure takes things seriously

  21. OsirizSmash Avatar

    I expected a water park punchline. Kudos.

  22. motty666 Avatar

    Dark and funny

  23. Cool_Objective_9921 Avatar

    OMG ?

  24. kankaneaa Avatar

    This went dark quickly

  25. TheGreenestOfBeans Avatar

    If you have a pyrolitic oven, you can chop him up and cremate him in that.

  26. kamyk2000 Avatar

    Probably best not to analyze all the little parts of this joke 😉

  27. apetherapist- Avatar

    Dad said he was at the bar, he’s totally gonna win

  28. larrythefatcat Avatar

    Definitely made me think of [this recent SNL sketch.](

  29. Budget-Abrocoma3161 Avatar


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