just open your fucking mouth ;p
“Doctor, where is the heart?”
To which the doctor replies: “it is at the height of your left nipple”
The elderly woman thanks the man and ends the call.
A new day arrives and the doctor reads the headline of his newspaper
“Elderly woman wants to commit suicide, shoots herself in the knee”
This reminds me of a funny moment when I was little, maybe 8 or 9. My mom got a funny birthday card from a friend that had a man and an elderly woman standing at a bus stop. The man had a shirt on that said “Show me your tits,” and the elderly lady lifted up the bottom of her long dress.
Cue me, running to my mom with the card asking, “What are tits???”
What does an 80-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 20-year-old doesn’t?
-Her bellybutton.
Grandma found a lump under her left breast, but the doctor said it was OK.
-It was just her kneecap.
A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called “The Knob”, where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman’s head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted “The Knob.”
Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant.
After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems:
“I’ve had to turn the knob many times and I’ve always loved the results. But now I’ve developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won’t get rid of them.”
The doctor looked at her closely and said,” Those aren’t bags, those are your breasts.”
She said, “Well, I guess there’s no point in asking about the goatee.”
What did one sagging tit say to the other sagging tit?
We better get some support soon or people are going to think we’re nuts!
this is low
Made me snort. Take my updoot
Idgi
for those who don’t get the joke
i envy your innocence
Read that as a woman in ‘the’ 90s and was very confused for a few seconds lmao
This joke is older than the woman in it
I don’t get it
The old orange in the sweat sock trick
i dont get it
i don’t get it
I don’t get it
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