free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

A pessimist thinks the glass is half empty, an optimist thinks it is half full…

An engineer thinks the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

19 responses to “A pessimist thinks the glass is half empty, an optimist thinks it is half full…”

  1. icyphnx Avatar

    If it’s filling up, it’s half full. If it’s being drank from, it’s half empty. It’s relative. (In my opinion)

  2. RogerFreakingRamjet Avatar

    An engineer is glad that half the water (or whatever) is stored in a redundant ,off-site glass.

  3. GuardMarmot Avatar

    Nah, 2 is a reasonable factor of safety.

  4. inkseep1 Avatar

    Not only is it half empty, it is half full of the wrong stuff.

  5. flodge123 Avatar

    The optometrist just sees people that need glasses.

  6. Smileynameface Avatar

    An organist pulls out all the stops

  7. TBTabby Avatar

    [But what if it was actually half-empty?](

  8. Retrotone Avatar

    The engineer knows the glass was made to the wrong specification.

  9. anderoogigwhore Avatar

    The alcoholic knows the glass has room for more

  10. MeGrendel Avatar

    Realist: “Yep, that’s a glass.”

    Capitalist: “Bottle it and charge for it.”

    Conspiracist: “The Man is putting fluoride in the water for mind control”

    Idealist: “One day, cold-fusion from a glass of water will provide unlimited energy and end war.”

    Sexist: “The glass is not gonna refill itself, honey.”

    Feminist: “The glass is the fault of the patriarchy.”

  11. EnvironmentalDeal256 Avatar

    Only after they tell you that they’re an engineer.

  12. Khromm Avatar

    I think some b*stard’s been drinkin’ my pint again…

  13. imnotporter Avatar

    a realist knows that there is definitely water in the glass.

    an opportunist drinks the water.

  14. TwoAmoebasHugging Avatar

    I’ve always heard the punchline as an engineer thinks you have 50% too much glass.

  15. OldSoulRobertson Avatar

    Where’s the pitcher?

  16. nordic-cidron Avatar

    A pessimist drinks the glass empty

  17. knowhistory99 Avatar

    The glass is completely full or completely empty. The glass is completely full half with liquid and half with air. Or, the glass is just glass and empty of anything else; the fact that its shape momentarily holds anything is irrelevant.

  18. MyTrashCanIsFull Avatar

    Incorrect; there is no information given about how large the glass needs to be. It may in fact need to be much larger than it is to support its intended use.

    It is most appropriate to say that the glass is currently at half capacity.

  19. Fluentlee Avatar

    Bartender thinks he’ll check back in on that guest in 5 minutes

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