free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

A man found a woman tied to the rail tracks and untied her.

Then they had a lot of sex and he was on his way to the bar.
He started boasting about all the different positions they had sex in.

The bartender asks did you get any head.

To which the man replies
“I couldn’t find the head.”


34 responses to “A man found a woman tied to the rail tracks and untied her.”

  1. Shevek99 Avatar
    Shevek99

    “Once, Warren Sánchez was walking with some of his followers when he saw a sad looking young man, lying across the rail tracks.

    -What are you doing there, young man?

    -My girlfiend left me!

    -Couldn’t she leave you in another place?

  2. eladabbub Avatar
    eladabbub

    So she got railed twice.

  3. Sludgenet Avatar
    Sludgenet

    I always heard this as he found her down by the tracks, and he banged her in every position all weekend long. When asked; “Was she a Looker (pretty)? He said he didn’t know. He never found her head!

  4. BlueMonkey-CoCo Avatar
    BlueMonkey-CoCo

    Bummer.

    Him: Yup, did that too! Twice.

  5. worldracer Avatar
    worldracer

    Two hobos were walking down the same tracks and found the head. One held it up and says “oh man, is that Marie?”. The other said ‘no, that’s too tall to be Marie!”.

  6. konqueror321 Avatar
    konqueror321

    Is laughing at this joke evidence of being a sociopath?

  7. Jerry_Hat-Trick Avatar
    Jerry_Hat-Trick

    This is one of my favorite jokes, but it’s best when told as one hobo recounting to another, and it’s drawn out, aristocrats style, with pantomimed positions and lurid details. And the last kicker is the other hobo asks, “so did you get a blowjob too then?” “Naah I couldn’t find her head.”

  8. otusowl Avatar
    otusowl

    I did not kneed this picture in *my* head!

    ​

    I’d say that this joke does not have legs, so to speak.

  9. clamberrypie Avatar
    clamberrypie

    I heard this as,

    “Did you get head?”

    “Nope <sigh>. Never found her legs either.”

  10. punkCarson Avatar
    punkCarson

    ?

  11. 2068857539 Avatar
    2068857539

    “I never found it” is a better punchline.

  12. IamNotTheMama Avatar
    IamNotTheMama

    good old #4

  13. Starhunt3r Avatar
    Starhunt3r

    What?

    Wait

    Oh geez r/angryupvote

  14. Tonlick Avatar
    Tonlick

    I lost my train of thought while reading this

  15. EmirFassad Avatar
    EmirFassad

    How to ruin a joke in one easy step.

  16. JohnP-USMC Avatar
    JohnP-USMC

    That one made me laugh. For me it is the best joke I’ve read online in recent months.

  17. SamyBencherif Avatar
    SamyBencherif

    I hope in the distant future this joke confuses historians who take it as a very short plotless story about dismemberment

  18. YalikeJazz02 Avatar
    YalikeJazz02

    She got railed

  19. msty2k Avatar
    msty2k

    This joke is incredibly sick and deviously clever. I like that.

  20. HatchetXL Avatar
    HatchetXL

    That’s why I carry baby oil in my pocket. Fresh squeezed.

  21. LEGITIMATE_SOURCE Avatar
    LEGITIMATE_SOURCE

    I’m 14 and this is funny

  22. mermaidshewrote Avatar
    mermaidshewrote

    This made me laugh so hard I snorted.

  23. Bclann82 Avatar
    Bclann82

    How is this not funny…. who has money these days to afford to go to a bar?

  24. The-dude-in-the-bush Avatar
    The-dude-in-the-bush

    If I had a penny for every time a joke turned out to have a dark end I’d only have 2v pennies. But it’s strange that it’s been in my feed twice in a row now

  25. herbbunny Avatar
    herbbunny

    ?? what a sick joke

  26. Suissie Avatar
    Suissie

    He fucked a dead body, how is that funny.

  27. TICKLES-MY-TAINT Avatar
    TICKLES-MY-TAINT

    If she was tied to the tracks then her head should be the only thing remaining

  28. Threedognite321 Avatar
    Threedognite321

    A A A A A AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha…
    Ahem…

  29. [deleted] Avatar
    [deleted]

    [deleted]

  30. arcanum7123 Avatar
    arcanum7123

    Gave her a good throat fucking though

  31. [deleted] Avatar
    [deleted]

    [removed]

  32. Yourgrammarsucks1 Avatar
    Yourgrammarsucks1

    Nice – a repost that hasn’t been reposted long enough to where I forgot the punchline until I saw it. That’s rare.

  33. AFB27 Avatar
    AFB27

    Oh that took me a second God damn

  34. slidellian Avatar
    slidellian

    I didn’t get this one at first, but when I did, *I did.*

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