free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

A lawyer calls a witness to win the trial

“Your Honor, for my next witness, I want to call my EXPERT.”

“Ok. An Expert of what?”

“This is no ordinary Expert. This person is a true master, knowledgeable in and of:

Computer Science, Economics, Political Theory, Epidemiology, Nuclear Physics, Climate Science, Constitutional Law, Self-Defense, Sociology, Psychology, Cultural Anthropology, all Medical Sciences, Realpolitik, Psychological Warfare, all branches of Philosophy, Jurisprudence, Marketing, all forms of Technology, Statistics, AND knows the EXACT correct answer to ANY and all popularly asked questions.”

“You can’t mean…!”

“That’s right…my Expert Witness is…A Redditor!”

The other lawyer jumped out of his chair in shock and dismay.

“Your Honor! This is absurd…! You can’t…you can’t expect me to go against…such an INTELLECTUAL POWERHOUSE!”


“I’m afraid I have to agree with opposing counsel. No mere mortal could surpass a Redditor in terms of PRACTICAL and APPLICABLE knowledge. Truly, the ancients stood on the shoulders of Giants…and we stand on the shoulders of Redditors. I am not fit to preside over this Trial.”


And he handed his Gavel to the Redditor, who oversaw a new trial with WISDOM AND FORESIGHT.

And then Everybody Clapped.

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