free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

A husband and wife are playing golf…

A husband and wife are playing golf at a very high end golf course that’s right next to an even fancier neighborhood. They tee off on the 3rd hole and the husband’s drive veers sharp to the left, sending the golf ball through the window of an extravagant, luxurious home. Clearly the most expensive home in the area. The couple argue over whether to take credit for the accident and offer to pay for the damage, when the wife reminds the husband that he was the one who insisted on having all of their golf balls stamped with his initials, so they really have no choice.

When they arrive at the house, nearly a mansion, they see that a huge window has been broken and the front door is ajar. They knock and call out but no one seems to be home. The husband decides to step into the foyer to find pen and paper and leave a note. The wife steps in behind him cautiously and their eyes both immediately land on a pile of shattered porceline with their initialed golf ball sitting on top. Whatever it was, it looked extremely expensive.

‘Grab the ball and let’s just go!’ the wife whispers. Just then they both hear the sound of someone clearing their throat, and gorgeous man with dark hair and dark eyes steps out of the shadows, staring at them intently. The wife’s jaw drops. The *husband’s* jaw drops. The man is stunning.

The husband and wife both stammer ‘We-we were just going to leave a note….’

But the man holdd up his hand to silence them both. ‘I am a powerful genie. The shattered shell you see on the floor here is the lamp in which I’ve been imprisoned for three thousand years. You have freed me. Though I am free of my prison and no longer at the will of greedy human beings, I will still grant you three wishes to show my thanks. But I will need something from you first… ‘

‘Anything!’ they both say, the woman looking at the man lustily and her husband staring in admiration.

‘I have been very lonely these three thousand years. I would like to lay with you’ he says to the woman, a twinkle in his eye. ‘But only if you permit it’ now speaking to the husband.

‘Well…’ the husband hesitates and looked to his wife. She nods her head in approval. ‘OK then. We would like unlimited money, immortality and everlasting good health.’ The husband spits this out without thinking, as if he’s already given this a lot of thought. He looks to his wife again and she once more nods approvingly.

‘Now I will take your wife downstairs. Once we have had our time together, I will return her to you and grant your three wishes.’

The man and the wife go downstairs together and make passionate love for hours. It is the best sex she has ever had, bar none. When it’s over the man looks into her eyes.

‘ How old are you? You are so beautiful… ‘

‘ I’m 43… ‘ she says.

‘ And your husband?’

She sighs. ‘He’s 45.’

The gorgeous man lets his eyes widen for just a split second and says ’45 years old and he still believes in genies??’

The wife looks him in the eyes. ‘I know, right?!’

3 responses to “A husband and wife are playing golf…”

  1. uglypaperhaver Avatar

    And it’s a lucky thing he did believe in genies, too – ’cause otherwise he’d *never* have come up with those 3 great wishes!

  2. QUIBICUS Avatar

    After they finish they go upstairs to find the husband missjng. The husband jumps out from behind the corner and beats the mansion owner to death with a golf club. Screaming who’s the genie now.

  3. uglypaperhaver Avatar

    The husband calmly enters the bedroom and throwing back the covers, begins helping his wife get dressed. Sitting up while her hubby buttons up her blouse, the wife asks the handsome stud, “And how old are *you?”*

    He shrugs and re[plies, “I’m 38.”

    “38…?” muses the husband, “And you *still* don’t know enough to wear a condom?”

    At which time the woman gets to her feet giving the homeowner his first view

    of her nether zone… an inflamed mound of oozing scabs!

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