free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

A family went to a nudist beach for their vacation.

The young son came back to the tent and said, “Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They’ve got these HUGE…”

“Yes, well,” his mother sniffs. “The larger they are, the dumber the woman.”

Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. “You wouldn’t believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE…”

“Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man.”

“Really?” the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. “We might be in trouble, Mom.”

“Why, honey?”

“Because Dad’s out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he’s getting dumber by the minute.

27 responses to “A family went to a nudist beach for their vacation.”

  1. NeverBob Avatar

    You know how to find the blind guy at the nudist beach?

    It’s not hard.

  2. Stand_kicker Avatar

    By the minute? How long does it take him to get it up?

  3. Gingerandthegook Avatar

    The women had HUGE… tracts of land.

  4. Dynasuarez-Wrecks Avatar

    The ones with HUGE sandcastles are overcompensating for something.

  5. upvoter222 Avatar

    Who’s the most popular guy at a nude beach?
    The one who can carry 2 cups of coffee and six donuts.

    The most popular girl?
    The one who can eat the sixth donut.

  6. hairsonya Avatar

    Sweatier than a blind lesbian at a fish market

  7. CannFarmre Avatar

    If a big dick means a dumb man

    Then I’m a fuckin genius

  8. spaghetti_hitchens Avatar

    I asked dad what time it was and he said his shadow will tell me

  9. Fickles1 Avatar

    I’ve actually been to nudist beaches. It’s full of old naked dudes. And that’s pretty much it.

  10. MasterMirkinen Avatar

    Saw that coming… The dumb lady too…

  11. _scabs Avatar

    This comment section is legendary. Should be installed in the Library of Congress and flown up in the next time capsule to the moon.

    This comment thread also explains why aliens have been visiting earth for centuries but never made contact.

    Are they still making d-ck jokes? Yeah? Damn. Cycle back around in 69 years, fellas, and see if they’ve evolved a little more.

  12. steven1002 Avatar

    His dad’s getting hornier and hornier by minutes?

  13. will4623 Avatar

    That was long.

  14. TheDunadan29 Avatar

    I would be concerned it was taking several minutes to get there

  15. justtjamcss Avatar

    I can’t believe I just spent 5 minutes on a thread about how quickly a fictional person gets hard

  16. I_DidIt_Again Avatar

    A man went to a vacation. On his first day he accidentally visits a nudist beach and decides to stay.

    At one point sends him a letter, asking how everything is going, and asking for pictures of him. He doesn’t know what to do since all of his pics are of him being nude. He decided to cut the pics and only send the top part, but he accidentally sends the bottom part.

    Grandma receives the pics and go through them. She says “what a lovely boy, he has a big nose and curly hair, just like his grandfather!”

  17. _scabs Avatar

    Momma must have small tits.

  18. Fencemaker Avatar

    An actual joke?! Take my upvote!

  19. Yeet_boi69-420 Avatar

    Why is a family at a nude beach tho

  20. LongGirthyVeiny Avatar

    I mean well “Mom” I think of myself as pretty smart !

  21. Zahgurim65 Avatar

    The man who has been terrorising a nudist colony with a bacon slicer has yet to be captured. DCI Lemuel Shift had a tip off but should be back on duty in a few days.

  22. _scabs Avatar

    Psyche this story’s actually tragic. It’s not a joke at all it’s a story about a breast cancer survivor who’s husband cheats on her.

  23. EquivalentStorm3470 Avatar

    Too funny!!!!???

  24. PossessionOld3898 Avatar

    The most popular guy at the nude beach can hold a coffee in each hand and still carry 6 donuts.

    The most popular woman at the beach can make it to the 6th donut.

  25. uglypaperhaver Avatar

    Phew! Glad to see some clean jokes here…

    …and there I was almost *positive* this was going to end up being instead about the boy’s dad getting a bulging-veined boner over some hot nymph’s basked-ball bazoombas… so you can appreciate my relief at how this joke *actually* played out. Thanks.

  26. Ciaboom Avatar

    Did you hear about the robbery at the Nudist colony? Criminal barely made a getaway.

  27. WillSmithSlap_mp4 Avatar

    why did the parents bring the kids to a nudist beach in the first place???

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