free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

A dwarf was drinking in a bar, when a sexy blonde walked up to him and said “Ive always wanted to have sex with a little person”

**The dwarf replied “Im sorry, but Ive had women say that before, then I go home with them and the husband or boyfriend finds out and I get beaten up” “Its ok” said the woman, “my husband is working away until next week” So, against his better judgement he goes back with the woman. They start having amazing sex, when suddenly the front door opens. “Fk its my husband!!” she said. “Quick, hang out of the bedroom window and when he goes for a shower, you can climb in and get away” So the dwarf climbs out of the window and hangs on the ledge by his fingertips. The husband comes in the bedroom, says “Its cold in here” slams the window shut and the dwarf plummets to the ground. The woman is distraught and calls an ambulance. A couple of days later she goes to visit the dwarf in hospital. “How are you” she asked. “Well, my fingers are broken, Ive got two broken ankles, a dislocated hip and severe concussion” he said. “Oh dear” she said. “Still, it could have been much worse”, “Much worse!?” said the dwarf. “How do you figure that out?” . “Well” she said, “youre lucky that I live in a bungalow”.**


25 responses to “A dwarf was drinking in a bar, when a sexy blonde walked up to him and said “Ive always wanted to have sex with a little person””

  1. ElDeguello66 Avatar
    ElDeguello66

    I feel like the universe is testing me. I work with a dwarf, and I’m pretty sure he’d find this joke hilarious. On the other hand, I literally just completed corporate work harassment training yesterday.

  2. GreatAndPowerfulNixy Avatar
    GreatAndPowerfulNixy

    Why is the whole text in bold

  3. _Dannyboy_ Avatar
    _Dannyboy_

    Woman: “Do you forgive me?”

    Dwarf: “Well, I’m not happy.”

    Woman: “Oh, which one are you then?”

  4. archiekane Avatar
    archiekane

    I actually laughed out loud at that one. Thanks for that.

  5. Bloke101 Avatar
    Bloke101

    For our American friends Bungalow=Ranch

    A single story dwelling with all rooms on the ground floor (British) / First floor (American)

  6. BeBackInASchmeck Avatar
    BeBackInASchmeck

    What’s a bungalow?

  7. Asstaroth Avatar
    Asstaroth

    this one made me laugh like a hyena lol

  8. sudomatrix Avatar
    sudomatrix

    Good thing you didn’t spell out “fuck” because reading a curse word in the middle of your post about cheating wives fucking dwarves then maiming them would have been offensive.

  9. MilPens Avatar
    MilPens

    People get dwarfs and midgets confused sometimes when actually they have little in common,

  10. Bingeljell Avatar
    Bingeljell

    OH OH – I should not partake of such humour, but… I chuckled.

    Unexpected.

  11. pretendimclever Avatar
    pretendimclever

    I read this whole thing waiting for the punchline about a fantasy dwarf. Like…I was picturing Gimli the entire time and don’t know what the hell was going on

  12. Lrobbo314 Avatar
    Lrobbo314

    Meh. That was a lot of reading for a sub par joke.

  13. sflesch Avatar
    sflesch

    Even though by the time he was hanging by the window I was pretty sure where this was going, in the end I got a chuckle, so it didn’t fall short.

  14. PBJ-2479 Avatar
    PBJ-2479

    Is there some double meaning or was that all?

  15. LankyKangaroo Avatar
    LankyKangaroo

    I dont get it?
    I read it twice…

  16. dgm42 Avatar
    dgm42

    A dwarf wants to get married so he goes to a Matchmaker to see if she can find him a bride. The dwarf goes through her book of potential girls and is really smitten by one in particular. The Matchmaker tries to warn him off because this girl is 6 feet tall and he is, after all, a dwarf. But he insists, a meeting is arranged and they hit it off wonderfully. A wedding happens soon after. Six months later the Matchmaker calls up the dwarf to see how things are going.
    “Oh, I should have listened to you. When we’re nose-to-nose my toes are in it. When we’re toes-to-toes my nose is in it. And when I’m in it I’m so lonely. There’s nobody to talk to.”

  17. Sleeper_Sree Avatar
    Sleeper_Sree

    Did not understand the ending someone please explain

  18. Futuristicbus61 Avatar
    Futuristicbus61

    Rock and stone!

  19. riyadboy1 Avatar
    riyadboy1

    this joke is like someone asking to show you something then takes you on a 5 hour long walk just for it to lead to a piece of dog poop at the end.

  20. FraudMallu Avatar
    FraudMallu

    Hahahahahahah

  21. same_ol_story Avatar
    same_ol_story

    Meh

  22. emzirek Avatar
    emzirek

    Since it was a joke I laughed but is a bungalow just a single floor…? s/

  23. MenuBar Avatar
    MenuBar

    I spent all last weekend playing grab-ass with a couple midgets.

    I never thought I could stoop so low.

  24. KarlLagervet Avatar
    KarlLagervet

    *I’ve, *I’m, *I’ve, *it’s, *it’s, *it’s, *I’ve, *you’re

  25. estrusflask Avatar
    estrusflask

    I joined this subreddit thinking there’d be some funnies, but then I remembered that Reddit finds the most tepid bigotry funny.

    The “punchline” is that he’s so short that a fall from like four feet shattered his whole body. To get there, we go through the most painfully generic set up, which is also also formatted as a single block of text, and on top of that is bolded for some reason.

    And yet it has a score of 1517.

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