free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

A calligrapher died peacefully in his sleep.

He soon woke up in a land of paradise. He spent the next few days exploring. Heaven was exactly as he imagined—pristine rolling hills, golden castles upon cloud tops, reunions with lost loved ones, and endless opportunities to explore one’s hobbies. He had access to the finest selection of inks and paper, so he continued to hone his craft even in death.

The calligrapher would rotate his time between practicing his calligraphy and exploring what more Heaven had to offer. At some point, however, he noticed something: no matter where he went, no matter what activity he engaged in, he saw no angels fluttering about. It was strange, he thought, that everything else he was told about Heaven ended up being true, but angels were such a strong point of emphasis in the scripture! He asked around, and no other resident had seen any angels either.

He continued about his days as normal, but he couldn’t help but be bothered by this small detail. How could every other aspect of Heaven be real, but not the entities that were supposed to chaperone it? As he pondered, he suddenly heard a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” he asked, somewhat annoyed.

“It is I, God!” said He on the other side.

The calligrapher hurriedly opened the door. “Oh my… You! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know.”

“It is all right, my son,” God said. “I am only here to check on you. I like to meet with all of our new residents after they’ve settled in!”

“It’s an honor, truly!” said the calligrapher. “I’m a huge fan of Your work.”

God gave a hearty laugh. “And I, yours! I’m always impressed by the craftsmanship of all My children. You know, they say that when an artist gets entrenched in their craft, it is as though they are experiencing a slice of Heaven in that moment.”

The man thought for a second. “You know, I’d be inclined to agree!”

“So, I suppose the inverse is true, is it not?” said God. “Doesn’t Heaven remind you of the most beautiful scripts you can imagine?”

He hesitated to respond. “I’m not sure about that…”

God looked surprised. “What is wrong, my child?” He asked.

The calligrapher sighed. “Well, Heaven is great and all, but it’s sans seraph.”

24 responses to “A calligrapher died peacefully in his sleep.”

  1. heavybabyridesagain Avatar

    Cherubbed me the wrong way

  2. TheOwnerOfRaddit Avatar

    I’m stupid cause I read caterpillar instead of calligrapher.

  3. nobody384 Avatar

    Fucking brilliant

  4. techsinger Avatar

    I knew it, I knew it, and I just kept reading! Well done, thou good and faithful jokester!

  5. dycie64 Avatar

    Ok, that got me

  6. attabui Avatar

    The calligrapher is truly a font of creativity

  7. myasscrackburns Avatar

    I don’t get it

  8. lestairwellwit Avatar

    And while I absolutely loved the punch line,

    I loved “I’m a huge fan of Your work.”

  9. Crimbly_B Avatar

    A cowboy got to heaven.

    He looked everywhere, but nowhere could he find the head law honcho of heaven.

    So the cowboy sighed and said to God: “Well, Heaven is great and all, but it’s sans serif.”

  10. sagar-saiyan Avatar

    That’s nothing to write home about.

  11. BSKustomz Avatar

    *slow clap*

  12. EccentricHorse11 Avatar

    This is one of those puns that I have a good feeling is very clever and amazing, but I don’t get it.

  13. Bipolar_Bear_84 Avatar

    I am so mad right now.

  14. NoMathematician7074 Avatar

    I groaned so hard. Here take my up vote

  15. ulyssesfiuza Avatar

    Not very funny. I found it Comic Sans

  16. Unofficial_Loner Avatar

    Yoda finally entered heaven and wanted to catch up on old children’s story books he read as a kid but couldn’t find any at all. He said to god, “Comic sans, heaven is.”

  17. Sunshinexpress Avatar

    The envious descenders will downvote this joke to hell.

  18. TuxidoPenguin Avatar

    Damn it. I read all that and don’t even get it ?

  19. MrRikkles Avatar

    Sans Seraph, eh? You must be a top-notch skele-median, because we should call you a Comic, Sans!

  20. GoogleIsYourFrenemy Avatar

    It’s obvious from the quality of this post that it’s Comic Sans.

  21. thest3v3mc Avatar

    Im in a love hate relationship with jokes like this. And I hated loving this one. Thanks!

  22. emzirek Avatar

    I’m a religious man but this doesn’t make sense… please someone explain this to me

  23. BaloonPriest Avatar

    All that for a pun. I am impressed beyond words.

  24. MarvinLazer Avatar

    Boo. Go back to /r/dadjokes

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