free joke here ;p

just open your fucking mouth ;p

A British General and his Men

A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis.

Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General’s office.

“Since we weren’t actually at war,” the General starts, “I can’t give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated. What the Government has decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each centimeter of distance between those parts. We’ll start on the left, boys, so what’ll it be?”

The first soldier goes “From the tip of me head to me toes, sir!”

“Very good,” says the General, “that’s 178 cm, which comes to 356 pounds sterling.”

The second soldier thinks hard, and says “I’ll do from the tip of the thumb on my left hand to the tip of my thumb on the right hand, sir!”

General: “Even better son, that’s 183 centimeters which comes to 366 pounds sterling!”

Well the third soldier has been waiting patiently this whole time. The general asks him “Where are we gonna measure, son?”

He replies “From the palm of me left hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr!”

General: “That’s a strange request, son! Are you sure you don’t want more than that?”

“Oh, I’m plenty sure!” grins the soldier.

Well, the general bends down to start measuring but pops back up almost immediately. “Soldier!” he yells, “Where is your left pinky?”

Soldier 3: “Falkland Island, sahr!”

5 responses to “A British General and his Men”

  1. egrith Avatar

    Still prefer the Vietnam version, tip of the dick to the balls, which were left in Nam, also makes me think of Luang Prabang

  2. schoolydee Avatar

    dafuqy does sahr mean?

  3. mhka125 Avatar

    the joke goes till the dick and they think he brags about the size

  4. uglypaperhaver Avatar

    But joke has on the the 3rd soldier ’cause his *entire* left hand had been left in the Faulklands…

  5. uglypaperhaver Avatar

    What I appreciate about this story is how very reasonable and likely the General’s reward conditions were. Can’t imagine they’d come up with anything even a teeny bit contrived.


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